I have always believed that marriage requires adjustment, sacrifice and compromise. But I have also come to understand that there is a dangerous difference between adjusting to accommodate your spouse and gradually disappearing to keep them happy.
Some people entered marriage confident, ambitious, outspoken and full of dreams.
Years later, they can barely recognise themselves.
They stopped dreaming because their spouse felt threatened.
They stopped speaking because silence became easier than disagreement.
They stopped pursuing their passions because keeping the peace became more important than their happiness.
And somewhere along the journey, they lost themselves.
My dear, marriage should not become the burial ground of your identity!
Yes, adjust for your spouse. Be considerate. Make sacrifices. Learn to compromise.
But please, don’t mistake losing yourself for loving someone deeply.
You can be a wonderful wife and still have a voice.
You can be a devoted husband and still pursue your dreams.
Your spouse’s light does not have to go out for yours to shine!
A healthy marriage should make room for two people to grow, not demand that one person shrink so the other can feel important.
And remember, sometimes the greatest tragedy in marriage isn’t that love disappears.
It’s that one person disappears while trying desperately to keep the love alive.
Love deeply. Give generously. Adjust wisely.
BUT NEVER DIM YOUR LIGHT JUST TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR BRIGHTNESS! ❤️
Now, let me ask you something:
Is sacrificing your happiness and identity to keep your marriage together an act of love, or a slow form of self-destruction?
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~Hon. Princess Benedicta Attoh, Former Executive Chairman of Etsako East LGA. Relationship Expert and Counsellor.
