I have experienced disappointments in marriage and in other relationships. Some of the things I went through hurt deeply. Some wounds took time to heal, and forgiveness was not always easy.
But in the end, I chose to forgive.
I won’t pretend it was easy. In fact, forgiving some people was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. There were times I had to wrestle with the pain, the anger, the disappointment and the unanswered questions.
But each time I finally made the decision to let go, I felt something change within me.
It was as if a huge load had been lifted from my head.
I have heard people say, “I will never forgive him.”
“I will never forgive her.”
“I must deal with that person.”
I understand those feelings. When you have been deeply hurt, anger can feel justified. But I have also learned something through my own journey:
When you forgive, you are not doing the offender a favour. You are doing yourself a favour.
Forgiveness does not mean what happened was right.
It does not mean you forget.
It does not mean you must trust the person again.
It does not mean you must return to the relationship.
And it certainly does not mean you cannot establish boundaries.
Sometimes, forgiveness simply means: I refuse to carry this pain anymore as it it is killing me.
You cannot always control what someone did to you, but you can eventually decide whether you will allow what they did to continue occupying your heart, mind and entire life.
Letting go protects your peace.
Letting go gives your heart room to heal.
Letting go allows you to move forward.
Forgiveness heals the soul.
And sometimes, the person you need to forgive most is not even the person who hurt you, it is yourself.
So, if you are carrying an old hurt today, I pray you find the strength to release it.
Not for them.
For you.
Your peace is worth it. ❤️
~Hon. Princess Benedicta Attoh, Former Executive Chairman of Etsako East LGA. Counsellor and Relationship Expert.
